Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Yes, This Really Happened.

Living in a house with 6 children and half of them still needing help (mothers insistence) in the bathroom......I am therefore the designated "wiper" for a few bums.  So, considering our higher than normal fiber intake, it is quit frequently I am hearing, usually yelled, "MOM, COME WIPE ME!"  Nice.  I'm fine with this.  It's my job. 

Today I heard a subdued, "Mom, (long pause) can you come wipe me?"  I was in the middle of tutoring someone in their math and writing out General Science flash cards so it took me a few seconds to switch gears from "teacher" to "bum wiper", but being the supermom I am, it took me only brief seconds to make this adjustment.

I cracked open the bathroom door to see a small child sitting on the commode, with his head bowed and resting in his hands. 

Small talk works best in situations like this.

"Hey, What's up?"

"I peed on my head."


The child raised their face out of their hands and sure enough.....wet hair on the forehead. 

"Oh," I said, "then you should probably get in the bathtub and wash your hair."


Considering that the victim was of the male gender, I was pretty sure that waiting until the last possible second and hasty aiming -or lack of- were the main factors in this strange case.

So, into the bathtub in the middle of the day and being the versatile mother I am, I quickly transformed myself into "Child Cleansing Mode".  A little lavender oil and shampoo does a wonderful transformation and soon this discourage soul was soothed and on his way smelling heavenly and feeling refreshed.

What a memory.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Tonto Talk

Simeon was working on grammar today and got a little confused.  Trying to get him to think a little more clearly I prompted him, "'He is going up the mountain' or 'Him is going up the mountain'?"  (His problem involved more that this simple information, but I was just trying to jog his memory without giving him the answer.) 

He ended up more confused than ever.  "Him is going up the mountain?" he asked me with a blank look on his face? 

Jubal snickered under his breath and said, "That's Indian", a sure sign they're watching to much Lone Ranger!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

New and Improved Salad Dressing!

Ahh...almost forgot this one.

Jubal was choosing a salad dressing the other night from the 78 bottles of dressing I have in my refrigerator.  He grabbed one and then slowly read, " Light Catalina, reduces fat".  I quickly grabbed the bottle.  Oh, wonder of wonders!  Could it be? 

Bummer. "Reduced fat".  A big difference one letter makes.

Well, Simeon thought it was pretty funny and snickered about the salad dressing that "reduces fat" for the rest of the night.  If Only......


The Seasons Project

I took my two violinist-Simeon and Elsa- to see violinist Robert McDuffie with The Venice Baroque Orchestra at The Grand tonight.  They were playing Antonio Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons" along with "The American Four Seasons" composed by Philip Glass as a companion piece to Vivaldi's. 

I could never do the experience justice with mere words. 

Simeon sat smiling with eyes closed for part of the concert and I had to keep Elsa from applauding between movements so exuberant was her response.  I knew what they were feeling.  The music took my breath away as we sat spellbound for 2 hours of musical bliss.

I found myself breathing (or not) with the intensity of the music.  Shaken and saturated with the sheer beauty of the murmuring stream, the approaching storm with it's lightning and thunder, the summer's oppressing heat, the melody of the hunters call and the snow with freezing winds.

It was not a concert.  It was a piece of heaven.  If this is what man can compose, I can hardly wait.

A little note:  Elsa prayed right before the concert that she would get a ticket for a seat next to her violin teacher who was also going.  He had bought his ticket months in advance......we were buying ours at the door.  I did not have the heart to tell her that chances were slim to none that we would be even in the same section.
Elsa's seat was row E seat 4, her teacher's was row E seat 6.  Seat 5 was empty.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

All for the want of a coffee pot

What? I have a blog? 

Life has accelerated from fast to turbo within the last few weeks since school started the beginning of September.  Hence the long absence from blogging.

A very notable event happened the end of August.  The carafe to our coffee pot was dropped and broke (boo) by a well intended child who was trying to pour her mother a cup of coffee. (awww....)  Not wanting to "jump the gun" by running out to purchase a whole new unit, I opted to order the needed part from the manufacturer's web site. 
After a few weeks of waiting, I called the company to inquire as to the status of and the exact meaning to the words "Your order is being processed", which happened to be the only response I was getting to my inquiry via their web site.  "Oh," was their reply, "That is on back order until the end of September."  At that point I slowly and carefully explained my dilemma of being a home school mom of six kids without her coffee.  Hmmmm....huge disconnect there.  No sympathy and they did not even try to offer a solution at that point, just that I "should be receiving it around the beginning of  October".  Nice.  I felt like asking them if they would like the address for the psych ward at the nearest mental facility, because that's where I would probably be by the time they got around to sending it. 

It is now October 10th and I am still drinking instant (shudder) coffee.  My "salvation" during this coffee trial is the beautiful fact that we have a McDonalds about a mile from the house.  This has saving me many days from just chewing on coffee beans or throwing myself through the huge picture window in our dinning room. 
I have - on more that one occasion - rummaged through the house, scrounged through my purse, and borrowed from the kids to get enough change to run (drive in the car) through the McDonald's drive-thru and purchase 2 large coffees which I take home to reheat and drink throughout the day.  This is good.

I had splurged in this manner this past Friday, and had finished the first cup when I trotted back into the kitchen -from the school room- to get the second cup.  I cannot possibly describe my shock and disappointment at finding the second cup of coffee empty.  Empty, with a hole poked in the bottom of the cup. "How did this happen?", I asked the kids. They were as amazed as I was, or so they feigned surprise at the disappearance of my coffee.  Kids were interrogated and many probing questions asked.  Nothing. 

Many fingers were pointed at Andie, who during her questioning managed to keep a straight face and not lie, by pretending to have no idea what I was talking about.  She kept looking at me with her head tilted slightly to one side and questioned me back with, "What?  What?".  She's a smart one.  I even sniffed her breath for a whiff of coffee because she has been known to inhale my coffee if she finds it unattended.  Rats. Nothing.  (Although, there was a little smile that kept hovering around her lips the whole time I was questioning her, and her smile is so mischievous now that she has that missing tooth in front...)  

Did she drink the coffee?  Maybe. Did I get upset?  No. These kinds of weird and strange things happen here all the time. This is normal at our house.